A lot of what is taught is related to mental health. You have to stay sane and strong if you want to approach this industry. You can begin to feel alone out here. As much as we have a community and a family, and a tribe, we have to make sure that we’re safe and we have to make sure that we’re well.
“It doesn’t make you weak to ask for help,” says Billie Eilish. “It doesn’t make you weak to ask for a friend to go to a therapist. It shouldn’t make you feel weak to ask anyone for help. And you should be able to ask anyone for help. And everyone has to help someone if they need it. Make sure to stay in tune with yourself because it really will benefit you in the end.”
Suz Paulinski explains, “I work with music professionals of all types – mostly musicians, but sometimes managers, label executives, and producers. I help them really take a moment to just step back, hit pause, and really think about where they’re headed, why they’re headed there, and if they need to make some adjustments.” She continues, “There is still a taboo, especially in this industry, about therapy. And I have to be grateful for my boss…for pointing out that I needed to go seek help. I was not well and I was just really overwhelmed.”
I had been in therapy for 10 years before I decided to be a mindset coach. I realized what a stigma it was. So, I just started kind of asking questions. I would meet with an artist and say, “Well, how’s this working for you?” And I’d let them come to their own conclusions that what they were doing wasn’t working for them and just kind of point out how even though they were hustling and were grinding – we were doing everything that the music industry tells us to do – it wasn’t working.”
Music Education: The Role of Substance Abuse in the Industry
How can we manage substance abuse and self-sabotaging?
“You know,” Paulinski says, “I like to point out to both musicians and the music professionals behind the scenes, a lot of the managers and the producers – listen, I’ve walked into studios before. I’ve seen the drugs. I’ve seen what people do.”
There was this wonderful interview with Missy Elliot. She was so honest about getting into that studio for the first time sober and not producing a record high. She didn’t even know if she’d have it. She believed that magic was in the pot that she was smoking, and she thought that without it she’s not going to have her edge. She realized, “oh my god, no.” She had so many more hits and so much success being in the studio sober. So a lot of artists feel – and even other professionals, too – that the drug is what’s causing their talent when really it’s just the drug maybe allowing you to relax and do that. You can relax with meditation, with yoga, and just finding your confidence. If you can work on that, you don’t need the drugs, and you’ll work better. You’ll enjoy it. You’ll remember it a bit more.
“And really, what I say to artists,” according to Paulinski, “We’re not in the rock ‘n’ roll era anymore because you don’t have a label doing everything for you. You have to do the legwork, and you have to be focused to do it. I always say to them, ‘If you want that rock and roll life, then I really hope you have a day job during the week to make up for it because you’re not going to get very far. It will be a very destructive hobby. And that’s all it’s going to be.’”
But if you want to be the Macklemore and Chance the Rapper and make it on your own – you know, they run a business. Like, they are CEOs. And so you have to show up and you have to put in the work. And in order to have that focus and that energy level, you gotta cut the crap.”
A lot of the struggles that entrepreneurs, in general, face is just the emotional roller coaster. “And I mean,” Paulinski continues, “I go through it everyday. I have a successful business. I pay my bills. It’s the only work that I do. But I have a panic attack or stress, you know – balled up on the couch crying at least once a week. And that’s par for the course. That’s just how it is. I don’t stay in the rut nearly as long as I used to and I don’t get as deep in it as I used to. It’s like a real roller coaster. If you’re on a roller coaster and you know that dip is coming, you can brace yourself. And then before you know it, you’re on the upswing. It’s the same thing emotionally. If you can tell yourself, ‘Ok, this sucks right now, but I got here pretty quickly so I can get back up pretty quickly.’ So tomorrow’s a new day.”
Focus on Making Progress, Not Perfection
If you can just remind yourself that it wasn’t always like this and that it’s not usually the same problem. You’re making progress if you’re not crying about the same thing over and over again. Then, you know you’re at least making progress.
Paulinski says, “I think the thing that made me a successful entrepreneur is, I’m like, ‘bring the mistakes on.’ Like, I own my hot mess-ness when it happens. I’ve done presentations online where all the tech falls apart. You just got to laugh your way through it and then say, ‘Alright, now that it’s over, what can I do differently?’ And so when you’re making mistakes, just know you’re getting to your goal faster because you’re going to learn those lessons. If you constantly – I call that perfection paralysis, where you’re so afraid to take action. That’s why my first business failed. We just kept tweaking and tweaking and tweaking. We didn’t produce anything that the public got to see because we were so afraid that we’d mess up.”
You just got to roll up your sleeves and do it. In this industry, in particular, if you think about the film industry, they’re creatives too. But the actors get rejected playing somebody else and reading somebody else’s lines. Musicians, when they get rejected, it’s usually if they’re writing their own songs from somewhere deep down inside. The vulnerability is just a lot heavier and it hits a lot more, which is why there’s so much substance abuse. A lot of what they do is “fraud talk,” where we say, “Why did I even think I could do this? Or you see somebody else get ahead, and you say, well, then they took my spot.”
That doesn’t exist. There is no true competition in this industry because everybody is so different. Learn to ride the coaster, and the minute you hear fraud talk, call up a friend who always compliments you or gives you a boost. Spend time with people who make you smile. It’s been proven in science that smiling can actually – just the muscles and the energy and the hormones going through you – will actually change your mindset. So take a step back, walk away from whatever is making you feel really crappy that day, and get yourself in the right mindset. That’s why it’s so important because that will help you keep going. You’re not going to avoid the bad days. You’re just not. So embrace it and keep going.
